The Adventures of De'Kree

Public Toilets

2010-05-11T22:31:00.001+08:00

As I headed towards the local public toilet today I realised I was really nervous, it was a strange feeling that comes into my mind every time I have to visit a toilet outside my own house.

With so many possible problems that could go wrong in the room I was about to enter, could you really blame me?

First off, there's the potential of that terrible smell that the pathetic air refreshener does nothing against. This is a particular vexing problem because it not only hits you hard upon entering the area but then lingers around as you progress through the process of going to the toilet.

Then once you have managed to combat the smell you head for the nearest cubicle, only to notice that the lock says "Vacant/Not Vacant". What does this mean?!?! Is their somebody in there who hasn't locked it properly?! So, not too take a risk, you quietly knock on the door (the quiet knock on the door and waiting for a response is probably the second most awkward time in any persons life) and if you don't get a reply you slowly (yes slowly! sometimes people don't reply for some reason) open the door. If you do get one of those people who don't reply and find them sitting there looking at you in shock then you have just walked into the most awkward situation that you will encounter in your life. For a fail safe, you could always crouch down and look under the cubicle for some legs but then you look like an idiot.

So now your in the cubicle and the first thing you do is close the door and make that place as safe as possible from anyone. This involves making sure the door is fully closed and locked and then double checking. Sometimes you get that door that is broken and keeps hitting the side of the wall instead of actually closing. I do not understand how this happens but it seems to happen to nearly 50% of toilet doors. Then you have the toilets with no lock! Who steals the lock?!?! Actually...who even has the required equipment to steal the lock in the toilet?!

If you have got this far without a problem then your doing pretty well but now comes the tough part...observing the actual toilet and its surroundings. Immediately you will notice various puddles of a mysterious liquid situated randomly on the ground around the toilet and caution is needed so that your shoe lace and/or jeans do not flow through them. There's also the issue of the man who could not urinate directly into the bowl and had to fire all over the toilet seat, the wild small hairs located on the toilet lid and the people who don't flush the toilet after use.

As soon as all of this is sorted you can finally get to business but you can't let your guard down yet. If your in a public toilet near a park or at a petrol station you will most probably have noticed the various spider webs and insects on the walls. Constantly surveying the cracks in the walls for a wild spider attack is a must at these facilities or its safe to say you may be bitten and die soon afterwards.

You will also have to be aware of the random man who (just like you minutes before) knocks on the door. When this happens you may feel strange actually responding to the knock, you will often put on a slightly weak yet serious voice to make your presence known, but we all know how essential this message is too get across. Most of the time, the person will leave and come back later, but every now and then you get the character who wants to make your public toilet adventure even more irritating/awkward and just wait outside quietly.

Well I think I am done with my wild rant about public toilets, there was many other issues I could of addressed such as
1) The lack of toilet paper
2) People who write on the wall, how can people be bothered doing this whilst tackling all the other obstacles of going to the toilet?
3) The sticky floor
4) The angry janitor who sees you leave the toilet and believes you were the person who made all the mess

Steve

Melbourne 2010

2010-05-10T14:24:00.005+08:00

I just arrived back in Perth and decided to write a quick blog about my adventure in Melbourne with James and Hassan whilst listening to the offical song of Melbourne 2010...Usher - OMG.

Monday
James and I arrived in Melbourne at 7am on Monday morning ready for a crazy adventure in the city. Due to lack of sleep the night before and on the flight however this was not possible and we immediantly went to sleep when we got to apartment we were staying at.

I just realised that Usher - OMG is a terrible song, this is the first time I have listened to it when I haven't been well drunk. *turns it off*

So we woke up just past lunch time and went to meet up with Ash Klass as him and James were off to watch John Mayer that night whilst I walked around the river/city reflecting on life. It sounded like it would be a dull night and after walking around for 30minutes it looked like my early prediction would be correct.

When I got back to Rod Laver Arena after my brief walk I noticed that all the security on the doors had departed. I took my chance at this time and walked casually through the main entrance and managed to catch the last 30minutes of the concert, which I felt wasn't that much more interesting then my reflective walk anyway.

Tuesday
On Tuesday we left Ash Klass at the train station and he departed back to Perth. We caught the tram down to the city and randomly walking around in various directions and did quite a lot of shopping. James bought his 'Harry Kewell cashmere sweater' and flirted with the saleswoman. That day had a few comical events such as the time I got off the tram only to notice that James had been to slow to get off and the tram doors had already closed. We ended up having to meet up at the next tram stop. That night we met up with Tony Castiello and had a few drinks before heading to the Casino where we proceeded to lose money.

Wednesday
Wednesday was the day of Hasan. Hasan was a magical character who taught us about his exotic religon and culture. We then used this information to tease him for the remainder of the holiday :D.

I don't remember what else happened this day...we went to St.Kilda for a bit. At night we walked down the road to Chapel Street and had a few drinks at Revolver Nightclub but it was pretty quiet. James managed to get well drunk though and did many comical acts which we all had a laugh about.

Thursday
On Thursday after doing nothing but shopping and walking around the city for the past 3 days we decided to do something more casual and easy and took the tram down to the harbour. We found a crazy mini-golf course and played a round of that. I was out of it by the 4th hole due to my pathetic shots but Hasan and James were neck and neck until the very last hole where the pressure finally got to James and Hasan took the title of Melbourne Mini Golf Champion.

Thursday night was one of the best nights because it was...SUIT NIGHT! We all wore all sexual yet cool suits out to the city and hit up a few bars. The first bar we went to was 'Cookie' which was on rooftop of a building. We spent the rest of the night drinking in various bars and talking to some exotic Danish women. At some point during the night we met a girl called Elly who was probably the coolest girl ever. She gave us her number and said to message her about some crazy partys that were happening on the friday and saturday night. Unfornuately she gave James her number and then on the ride home James left his iPhone in the taxi and the number was lost forever :(

Friday
Friday was a casual day as well. We woke up quite late and Hasan went to the city by himself to finish a bit of shopping that he didn't get to to before. James got a haircut and we all met up later on in the afternoon. We headed to the Casino pretty early (around 6ish) and booked a table at a Japanese restaurant. It was quite expensive meal (around $100 each!) but was one, if not the best, dinner I have ever had so it was well worth the price. We were gonna head to the city after but the Taxi driver recommended that we go to a club called Neverland in South Melbourne. So we headed to a bar for a few drinks then went to Neverland. It was a pretty cool club but the music was quite bad, still it was another fun night with lots of money spent on various drinks.

James and Hasan wanted to go the a club called Se7en on Saturday night so at the end of night we ended up catching a random bus at 2am and met some italian guys who told us to make sure that if we want to be allowed into the club make sure that we have women with us.

Saturday
On Saturday night, we decided to take a risk and go to Se7en early and see if we could get in anyway. Our plan did not work but we ended up catching a taxi to the city and went to a club called The Lounge. It was pretty cool club and had a really good DJ on so it turned out to be a good night in the end.

Sunday
Sunday was the birthday of James. We originally planned to walk to the MCG or the new AAMI stadium but the rugby was on and we all know rugbys a terrible sport so we just walked around for a bit then headed to the city to watch a Hot Tub Time Machine. Afterwards we went to Strike Bowling Bar and played a game of bowling...Hasan won again but I completed my goal of destroying James. After a few more drinks we headed back to the apartment and then to the airport to say goodbye to Melbourne!

It was a good week with way to many comical stories and I cbf remembering them or going into any detail. I shall write a few dot points of things I randomly remember.

- Ash Klass's strange female friend who spent 3-4 hours telling us about all the men she has slept with :/ James spent that night insulting her though so it was quite funny.

- The happy man who looked like he had just been promoted and was skipping down the street smiling. He randomly patted a strangers babys head as he walked past the pram.

- Hasans bad directions which meant that it took us 3 hours to get home one day after a day of shopping.

- Crazy evil baby who cursed James with its eyes

- The chip packet machine which stole James's money and made him rage.

- The multiple women who thought James was turning 28 this weekend.

- Laughing at peculiar people who we see on the train/tram

etc...

(I will remember more later)

I also had my first Krisy Kreme donuts...they were ok, nothing to really go on about though.

- Steve

Siiiimmooonnn Petaleeeeee

2010-04-26T22:22:00.003+08:00

Making the first move on a nice looking girl can be a daunting task. Many of us shy away from it and make a poor excuse of why we didn't try anything. "I was to tired", "She wasn't even that fit", "I'm not ready for a girlfriend" are various reasons that have been put forward in the last few years when I've been out in social situations.

There is one man however that does not shy away, he does not make excuses, he just goes in without fear and attacks his prey like an arrow to a target.

This man is Simon Petale and last night he came up with a plan to lure in a woman that he assumed (for some reason) could not fail. It did fail however and to be honest when he looks back at it whilst reflecting on his weekend as he falls gently to sleep, he will be wondering what the hell he was thinking.

First off, lets track back to what actually happened last night. It was Attilio and Lizs engagement party and after a hard fought draw at soccer earlier that afternoon I was ready to have a quiet drink and a chat with Seano, James etc. We arrived at the party around 6:30ish and the usual antics were occuring. Mason, with his incredible eyes was hyperactive, Daniel was looking oddly a lot like a chimney and Darren was a singing a song quietly to himself. We all sat around ate small snacks that Liz had made and then ate a few hotdogs from the BBQ that Attilio had whipped up.

It was at this time, as I reached over to grab a second sauage that I overheard a conversation that Simon Petale was having with a delicate blonde girl. "I can set you up with my friend, he is 24, but his a bit of a player" I heard the girl say to Simon. Thinking I had not heard her right or assuming she was joking I quickly dismissed the comment and went back to discussing ways on how Seano could kill Dennis and get away with it (Seano came up with a few solid strageties with the help of Pete the Lawyer so if *Dennis does disappear mysteriously, Seano may be the one to watch).

Anyway so a few hours later as the party was coming to an end I asked Simon Petale if anything looked like it was going to happen between him and the girl. It was during this conversation when Simon Petale told us that his plan to move in on the girl was to tell her he was gay. I do not know what this was going to achieve and Simon Petale also seemed confused on how that plan was going to work.

We all had a good laugh and promised not to forget Simon Petales pick-up attempt. We also came up with a new line "doing a Simon Petale" when a guy strikes out with a girl.

The engagement party was a good night though and we all eagerly await the wedding. :D

The End

* Now that I have mentioned this in the blog, if Dennis does disappear mysteriously maybe check up on me to see if I'm alright. Seano may take me out as well to prevent me from talking.

Love Foolosophy

2010-04-01T20:31:00.002+08:00

Last night was such a crazy adventure I felt it deserves its own Blog. The night started off quite casually with James Cas giving me a ring and demanding that we go out somewhere. I wanted to go out but there was minor obstacles in the way.

1) I had no shoes to wear after they were destroyed on Saturday night at The Capitol.

2) There was only two of us that wanted to go out and I had to go to soccer training first.

After my phonecall with James I gave Marco (from the previous blog) and Dennis a ring and asked if they wanted to go on a crazy adventure to the Mint Bar after training. They both agreed and problem 2) was solved.

So after soccer training I told everyone to come to my house. Dennis and James came at 9:30 and then we waited for Marco to arrive. At 10:15 Marco had still not arrived and we were starting to get angry. A minute later he rang us and said that he was still at home and he was no transport to my house! We were fooken furious!!! Luckily Carlos Silva (the slightly cooler brother) wanted to come as well so they used his car and drove over at about 10:45.

It was getting quite late at this time and Dennis had created a new betting game where we would pit two CPU players against each other in Super Smash Brothers and bet on who we think would win. James lost many bets.

After this intense betting game we finally decided to head to the train station. We caught the train just with seconds remaining and met a nice African transit guard called James who enjoyed watching Arsenal. James (our James) had a good connection with African James and his morale was boosted by 15% due to this.

Then their is a wild patch of about 30min in which I don't remember what happened but somehow we ended up at the Mint Bar. It was pathetic, there was like 15 people inside. Marco was livid and James, still horney from looking at Kate Perry pics, was slowly getting more sexually frustrated.

Dennis hadn't done much for a while when he wildly claimed that when we left he would still the Michael Jackson cardboard cut-out and ran out the emergency exit to safety. We did not believe him but true to his word when we decided to leave (15 seconds later) he grabbed the cut-out and bolted out the door and down the street. Unfortunately for Denoz, 4 men who were speaking to the bouncers saw this wild stunt and gave chase whilst hurling abuse. Dennis and the men were soon out of sight as they turned the corner but 30 seconds later the Men came back with the cut-out in hand. We eventually found Denoz several hundred metres away at a Kebab shop where he explained that, in fear, he had thrown the cut-out at the men and escaped.

It was at this moment when Seano gave us a ring claiming he was going to Black Bettys. We had nowhere else to go so headed over there. Along the way we met a seductive blonde girl and her Russian friend. We convinced them to come with us but I don't remember what happened to them.

Black Bettys was ok. There was one girl that had the same eyes as Katy Perry but that was pretty much the only highlight of that place. We headed home an hour or so later (2:30ish) as we wanted to catch the Arsenal vs Barcelona game back at James's house. Sadly we never made it back as we had to wait almost till 4am for a taxi home and even then nobody had any cash except for James.

So all in all, a crazy night with many stories to tell.

also Jamiroquai is the best...

Melbourne Adventure?

2010-03-10T22:33:00.003+08:00

Melbourne Adventure Question Mark

That is the name of this blog. A few weeks ago J Cas claimed that we were going to go to Melbourne for his birthday in May. I told him that I would go but ever since then I haven't heard anything else about it apart from James insulting Ash Klass for booking flights earlier then everybody to save $20. He is a cheap man that Ash Klass.

So I don't know if we are still going to Melbourne or not? I shall ask him later on, possibly tomorrow.

Today as I sat down and reflected on current issues that annoyed me at the moment and recalled the many times when I would butter a nice peice of toast only to drop it wildly on the floor. The peculiar thing about this sequence of events is that the toast would always fall butter side down causing the toast to be inedible. I researched into this topic and found that due to the fact that most kitchen tables are waist high the toast is only able to rotate once whilst in mid air which is why it will always fall face down.

I found this theory intriguing and pondered what would happen if we glued a peice of toast to the back of a cat then dropped the cat from a kitchen table.

We had our indoor soccer semi-final today and lost 3-1. Attilio took the loss especially hard as he kicked the ball away several times in a fit of rage and frustration. He cannot be blamed for his actions however since he is Italian and all Italians have a lot of built of rage inside of them due to being from an angry culture.

Marco's Return

2010-03-08T22:22:00.003+08:00

Last week our favorite South American man returned back from his 3 month adventure to Chile. We call this man, Marco.

So on Saturday we decided (James, Dennis, Hamish, Mary, Marco and I) to go to the Mint Bar to celebrate his return. The night, to say it blatantly, did not live up to its hype. Marco went for a nap about 20minutes before we were about to leave and there was a heated arguement between James and Hamish at one point as well. Still, it had its good points with me destroying everyone at FIFA 2010 during the pre drinks and the arrival of Mason, Jason and Daniel once we arrived at the Mint.

Hamish was blind drunk after drinking a whole bottle of Vodka by himself in a wild effort to become more like his idol, David Price. It did not work but brang a few laughs to the table at least.

On Sunday Attilio and Liz held a BBQ which we all attended even after **The Boat tried to sabotage the event by spreading rumours that Attilio had cancelled the BBQ and that everyone should go to the beach instead. It was a fun BBQ with many enlightening conversations and we discussed what we could invent to be famous.

Our best ideas were a see-through fridge, so you only needed to glance at it to see what you had to eat and a special bag that you could wear in dangerous locations which, upon pressing a button would turn the wearer into a small tree or bush. This would allow you to escape from most unobservant murderers or rapists.

Quote of the Day
*Whilst having a discussion on people scamming others on eBay*

Seano: Did you guys hear about the guy who actually sold a hat with tin foil on it, claiming it was a time machine?

Everyone: *joyful laughter*

Walshy: ...so did the hat actually work?

lol ahh Walshy 2010

- Steve

** Also The Boat (Daniel Cianfrini) didn't actually try and sabotage the event, it was just a misunderstanding between him and Franchise.

The Future Weekend...which is now in the past

2010-03-01T22:04:00.003+08:00

This weekend was an interesting one, it started off quite badly on Friday night after I ate a bad peice of Salami before soccer training and then proceeded to have stomach problems for 24 - 30 hours.

Once that issue resolved itself on its own momentum I logged on to facebook to see what the latest news amonst friends was. It was at this time when Varun sent me a comment with an intriguing propostion.

Two future musik tickets for $150.

I sat and reflected on this deal and then rang Adam Cianfrini and asked if he was down for paying $75 for a ticket and he was all over that shit. After raising my fist up into the air in a symbolic act of victory I waited for James Cas to pick me up as we were off to watch Western Knights vs Floreat in a random night series game. Upon arrival and was furious to learn that we had to pay to watch the game but as I had no cash on hand available James paid for me anyway.

After the game we travelled to Attilios Pizza Shop and had two large F'ken Franchise pizzas for a discounted price. We then headed back to my house and play a solid three hours of Fifa till 2am in the morning which ended with me winning 9 games out of 9 and James being left frustrated and in an explosive mood.

The next day was Future Musik day and I travelled to Gregos house at 11am before heading to Stewart Chans house. We stayed there for a few hours playing Wii and teasing Lucy about her mexican heritage then left to head to the festival.

To be honest, it was quite a pathetic festival, we waited in the line for like 45 minutes and then when we finally entered it their was no ATM's to use. It also took ages to walk from one stage to another because of the bad venue and layout. Eventually we came across Seano and went to watch some Sven Vath who was quite good and we also ran into Scotty. After this we headed to a grassy patch on a small hill and I ate chicken treat and had discussions about women. At 8:30 we went to see Prodigy and they were the best thing ever :D It made the whole day good again after a frustrating few hours.

So all in all, it was a pretty good weekend which was capped off by one of the best music sets I have ever seen (up there with Daft Punk).

- Steve

Plan B Fail

2010-02-23T23:35:00.003+08:00

I haven't posted a blog for 3months so I may as well starting posting again. This always leads to many days of constant blog posting before I CBF and lose interest for another 3-5 months.

The reasons I decided to write a blog today were vast and many...

1) We had a crazy Saturday night which must be remembered for years to come.

2) I just listened to Plan B's new songs and was shocked...no gobsmacked! how an artist can just completely change musically from one album to another.

3) ?

So lets start with point two to make things random and intense. I was on youtube the other day looking for a video of Robbie Savage being taken out by a random Plymoth Argyle defender when I remembered my fav. rapper from 2006...Plan B. He had intense lyrics but cool beats (beatz?). As I sat listening to his music I pondered to myself, 'What is Plan B doing at the moment?'...not literally of course but career wise. The result I came across was laughable. I don't feel I need to say anything more, the two youtube links below speak for themselves.

Link 1: Plan B in 2006
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKpWOTs8_J8

Link 2: Plan B in 2010 (you won't even believe its the same artist)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQjh9H-ymK4&feature=channel

wtf?!

actually, I'm so bewildered about this that I can't even write about what happened on Saturday night. I shall write about it in another blog.

GG

- Steve

Muscle Worship

2009-11-13T01:06:00.003+08:00

Well I can't sleep because its far too hot so instead I have spent time browsing ninemsn.com for local and national news.

For some strange reason the major story today is about Britney Spears lip-synching all her Australians shows and fans being livid (yes, that is the word they used in the article) for her putting in a half-hearted performance on. To be fair to Britney, she did say before she even came to Australia that she would be lip-synching all of the shows so I really don't know what everybody was expecting her to do.

I think its safe to say that people like this male who are now complaining about the show afterwards are instant fails

"I love Britney, but I'm so f****** disappointed," the man, who paid $200 to see the show, said.

"I feel like I'd been taken for a ride."

Who pays $200 to see Britney Spears anyway?! Some people paid up to $1500!

Anyway, as I stated in my last blog (which was many moons ago) we had an indoor soccer final and we won! All thanks to a fantastic Mason Roberts strike in injury time. I would post a more in-depth blog about the match with photos but Ravin has cbf'd posting them up on facebook.

Not much else has really happened lately.

Big V is starting to get into muscle worship. If you don't know what that is, you should YouTube it because its quite comical. He has asked me to be his agent and recruit pathetic human beings/clients who would enjoy worshipping Big V for $200 an hour so if you or somebody you know are into that, throw me a message :)

I have two exams next week but after that I shall be going on a Leedy Adventure for the first time in a long time (hopefully Anoop will be working so he can give me free drinks) and then I have Francescos 21st :D So it will be an exciting two weeks.

Actually going back to the news, during one of my newspaper breaks today at work, Daniel Moore and I had a very quick and vexxing discussion about the new plan to implement metal detectors into Northbridge clubs and on policer officers.

Seriously, why don't they just shut Northbridge down? Whose idea was it to have a suburb dedicated to nightclubs and think it wasn't going to attract trouble?!

If you go to any other city in the world, you will be hard pressed to find any place similiar to Northbridge (with 80% of the cities nightclubs being in one area). Keep 3 and 4 clubs open and close down/move the others to other places around Perth so you haven't got people front different backgrounds/music tastes/work classes all being in one place, blind drunk and in some kind of alcholol induced rage.

GG

Jarate'd Off!

2009-10-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

Thats right! I'm well jarate'd off after reading the West Australian today.

Everyday at work I go on my quick 10 minute tea break (I have no time to go on longer break unlike some people, Cheran Ramkumaran) and buy the West Australian to catch up on my local and world news. Lately in the paper their has been a debate on shopping trader hours and whether or not shops should be allowed to be open after 6pm on weekdays and on Sundays.

Frankly, I don't even see the need for a debate, if they want to open let them open. Perth is probably the only city in the World which has such pathetic shopping hours. Anyway, I don't really care either way but the reasons that people are against trading hours is so vexxing. For example, in the opinion section today people wrote in letters complaining about stores being open on a Sunday because:

- It will force people who work on at supermarkets to work on Sundays and they will not like this.

First off, how many people will this effect? Like 10? in all of Perth. Secondly, if you didn't want to work bad hours then you shouldn't have decided to work full time at your local Coles Supermarket. The whole of WA shouldn't be affected by people who are too cbf to work. I'm pretty sure most people who work Sundays will end up being casual workers anyway which will end up benefiting teenagers at school who can't work on Saturdays.

- Another persons reason for being against Sunday shopping is because it means they can't have 'family time' anymore. Do they know that they aren't actually forced to go shopping on Sunday if the shop is open? :/

So, that is why I was angry today.

What else has happened lately? Not much...

We have our Grand Final of indoor soccer tomorrow night.
Hopefully our team (Gen Italia) can hold up the trophy for the first time and then go out to celebrate with some bubble tea and FIFA 2010 at T-Thugs (Attilio Romano) house. I will write a full match report about the game afterwards, although if you never actually end up seeing the report in my blog it is because we lost.

Speaking of FIFA 2010, I have been pwning newbs left, right and centre. First Big V challenges De'kree and I destroy him. Then the always-cocky F-Chise decides he wants to take me on...I win 8-1. Ravin was the latest challenger to fall to my greatness in an epic 5-2 win. Anelka scoring from the halfway line to add insult to injury.

On the subject of games, Left 4 Dead 2 got refused classification today so now we get some cheap, pathetic modified version. Seano is currently looking into importing a copy from another country to bypass Australias pathetic laws. Why must the Australian Government be so frustrating all the time?!

This Saturday night I have Danielle Iannellos 21st which should be ok. I believe Denoz and James are both going so hopefully it will be fun. Oh, and I get to wear my cool suit again so :D

On Sunday afternoon we are all going for drinks at the Oyster Bar for Liz's Birthday. I expect that to be a reflective afternoon with Mason finally telling us his deepest and darkest secrets about his sex life.

Well, thats it for now as I seem to be getting attacked at my computer by various small, flying mosquito type creatures

- Steve

In case people are like "What the hell does Jarate mean?" I have included a brief definition. Actually I just found a comical flyer that can describe it better then I can.

Also, I have about 40pages left of Dan Browns new book 'The Lost Symbol' and apart from a few intense moments its a bit of a let down. I give it a 6/10.

-

Best Songs 2000 - 2004

2009-10-13T21:02:00.013+08:00

Bondage Night

2009-09-02T16:45:00.003+08:00

Well the blog is a little late but I was determind to write about possibly the best night ever at Bondage last friday.

The night started with everyone (around 15 people) coming over to my house for some intense chat and praise of Big V's $800 suit. Some new terms were created by the Big V this night...

True Money = Having a lot of money and not being afraid to spend it. Apparently Big V is an example of somebody who has true money.

False Money = Telling people that you have a lot of money but never showing signs of proof. Big V claims that Walshy 09 is an example of false money.

So we headed off to the Sheraton Hotel and were immediantly faced with a daunting task on how to obtain free drinks. People were claiming that you had to wait for the waiters/waitresses to come round and offer them too you but that was taking far to long so intead everyone waited outside the kitchen and ambushed them as they scuttled out.

We finished many glasses of wine, beer and champagne and then the simple game of Swedish Football was created. It involved getting a friend (Walshy, Mason, Daniel or Scott) and introducing them to a random person, pretending that the person was also a friend of yours. You then run away and watch the awkward conversation from a safe distance.

After a few games of Swedish Football we caused more havoc by running onto the stage and yelling Big V into the mic. This game ended quite quickly however as they ended up turning the mic off. :(

Other highlights of the night included;
- Getting a photo with Jonah Hill character
- Being photographed pretending to be part of the UWA committee which organised the group. This resulted in being thrown off the stage by the bouncers
- Attilio running off with a 2metre by 2metre picture but then getting stopped at the entrance and told to put it back
- Chasing women with Big V and telling them about his $800 suit
- Going into a random elevator to a room upstairs only for that plan to be aborted after Big V pressed the fire alarm in the lift. We quickly fled in different directions.

There were probably many more events but I cannot remember them at this moment.

After Bondage we were all meant to go out clubbing but everyone CBF'd apart from Big V, Scott and I. We headed to Shape bar down the road but Scott was refused entry for being blind drunk. It wasn't much of a loss anyway as they were demanding a $25 entry fee...who pays $25 to go into Shape?!

So, in anger, we headed to The Deen and met up with Mason, Jason and Dazron for more wild times. As we left The Deen I realised that Scott was no longer with us and that, in fact, he hadn't been with us the whole time at the Deen.

*What happened to him? We don't know...

- Steve

*I later found out Scott had gone home in a taxi when we got to the deen, he decided not to tell anyone this on the night.

A Fine day out

2009-08-13T21:56:00.002+08:00

Todays blog shall be about my day on Sunday and possibly some other stuff like latest rumours and gossip.

So I awoke up on Sunday morning and immediantly realised I had a soccer game in 1hr and had no transport to get to the game, which was all the way up in Stirling! Frantically I searched for my phone and managed to call Petale of Matt who was more then happy to offer me a lift. I smiled happily.

The game started off well with Mason getting in the faces of all the other players and I was 100% accurate with all my linesman decisons. As the game continued however the other team, which was all full of aggressive Macedonian people (like Rozi/Anita but male) started to get abusive towards the ref. This ended up leading to the game being abandonded.

This was actually a good thing though because it allowed me to make it back to Attilios house before 4:30 for an adventure to Hogs Breath Cafe in Northbridge and then the Belgian Beer Bar. As I arrived at the house I was greeted by Attilio, Liz, Walshy 09, Scotty, Jarilyn, Franchise and Julian Lance. We then all headed to the train whilst listening to some Akon.
After this nothing really happened until we got off at Perth Train Station. We all showed the transperth officer our tickets but were shocked when Scott was stopped for having a concession ticket without any proof of being able to purchase a concession ticket. He got fined $100. Franchise was not happy.

After debating about how silly the fines are at the train station we made our way to Hogs Breath Cafe and eventually to the bar.

[/end sunday]

Last week I also found out that my cousin, Andrew, got engaged. I cheered and waved in a state of pride. This also means a trip to America next year for the wedding :D

:D :D :D

BOND-age

2009-08-06T22:26:00.003+08:00

I haven't got to much to write about today. I know I promised some revealing infomation on Simon Petales women but I couldn't be bothered researching any further into it and when I quizzed Walshy 09 about his drunken aggression he denied being violent and criticised other people as being worse then him (e.g Mason Roberts?!)

As the title of the blog suggests I will be attending BOND-age with pretty much everybody as everybody seems to be attending so it should be a good night. I shall wear a cool Daniel Craig type attire...possibly similiar to the one in the photo up there *points upwards*

hmm what else has happened...our booking of Thailand for New Years Eve has been delayed for a few days while we try find another place to stay. We lost last night in indoor soccer after being 5-2 up the whole game...they scored 5 goals in the last 5minutes.

I had my first week of Uni today, it was pretty good, there was a surprisingly fit woman in one of my IT classes which I did not see coming and another guy who looked like Craig David.

Although, today at the lecture a random Sri Lankan man came and sat RIGHT next to me even though there was about 100 other free spots with plenty of space. If this wasn't bad enough after about 10 minutes into the lecture I turned to him and he was sleeping! I used this lapse in his concentration to escape to a better seat.

Well thats it for now, not sure what is happening this weekend...I will wait and see wat Daniel Cianfrini has to say about it!

- Steve

The Lion of Love

2009-08-04T22:41:00.003+08:00

If theres one thing I know what to write on, its lions. As an avid fan of lions and lion cubs since last week I believe you will find this blog both insightful and factual.

But enough about lions...

Last week Kristian and I went for a crazy(?) adventure to Bali. It was an interesting holiday with many stories about love, drinking, people who look like the characters from Zelda and violence.

We did many things such as visit the wild water slide park, the cruise of relaxtion, the clubs of exoticness and my personal favourite the Zoo. The Zoo contained many animals but my favourite part was being allowed to hold the frustrated lion. He was absolutley livid when they brang him out but once he felt my warm touch he calmed and purred seductively.

It has been way to long since I last wrote a blog and I can't be bothered thinking of any events that may of happened from then until now. I managed to complete my dream of securing an open relationship with Imara now, it gives all the sexual benefits without having to talk about feelings and emotions. We also have the freedom to go around seducing members of the opposite sex at clubs which we both like to do in our free time.

Anyway, Seano is demanding that we go pwn some newbs in TF2 and I can never say no to a good pwnage so I must go now.

Return soon for my next blog where I question Simon Petales motives on particular women and I discuss with Luke Walsh about his anger problems after he has had to much to drink on a Saturday night.

- Steve

A Quick Blog

2009-07-11T20:19:00.002+08:00

I cbf writing a real blog at the moment so I shall just write a few quick notes on what has happened over the past week or so which is pretty much nothing.

On Sunday we had soccer and won :D yay

On Monday, nothing happened

On Tuesday, I cbf remembering

On Wednesday, nothing happened again until Attilio and I went to play indoor soccer with Peter Samaan. We got pwned, but it was a good pwnage. I assume we will win next week however. After this I went home and had my weekly phone conversation with Imara of Truth and then went to sleep :D

On Thursday we went to see Bruno, it was the best. yay! Bruno! He looks like Big V from 2 years ago. Speaking of Big V, we never see him anymore...he may be dead. He maybe did what? He maybe dead....he maybe did what? He MAYBE DEAD...?

Last night we had indoor soccer again. We were not allowed to have the name Clytorial Impact so Attilio came up with about 400 other names. Some of them include Ballz, Soft Balls, Hard Balls, Facial Kings, Isralien Foreskins, Perth Glory Holes, Teabag Appreciators, Snatch Impacters, 1234skin, Harry Faginas. In the end we settled on Gon A Rear Kings.

We also got pwned in that match as well but it was a laugh and I'm sure we will do better next week when Mason Roberts plays

Anyway, I just wrote all that in like 1minute as I'am about to go out to the Windsor with James and Matty and have already had to much wine to bother writing anymore. wooop

I shall write another blog later...also K Dawg just smsed me with a sexual comment...ahh K Dawg, he is crazy

BALI SOON

ok, done!

- Steve

The Week of Dazron

2009-06-26T14:10:00.002+08:00

Well it has been a long time since I have added to my blog but it has been a frantic last couple of weeks with many adventures to various places.

On Wednesday (17th June) we (Fran and all his crazy suble friends) went to Leederville for an end of exam party. To our anger and frustration we never got into Leedy due to unrealistic long line. We did manage to meet a Megan Fox lookalike while waiting in the line though. So after 30minutes of waiting we all went to the Ruby Room instead were a battle fueled by Frans jealously of his lover Jarilyn almost erupted between De'kree and himself. I do not fear the F Chise though and proved that last night in the way I pwned him in Grand Slam Tennis on the Wii.

Last Friday night...I can't even rem...oh yes, we went to Bar Open to see some no-name DJ that Attilio thought would be good. There was like 8 people there and it cost $20 to get in! Damn it Attilio. Anyway, it was actually a fun night with K Dawg going back to his krazy ways at the Deen. Getting home at 4:45am and having work at 7am wasn't the best though.

On the Saturday night Dennis, Hamish, Marco, Rico and I all went to Metros Freo. It wasn't the best night ever but we did meet K Dawg there! K Dawg is krazy.

Then on Sunday night we all went to watch Year One at the movies! This was followed by an abusive night at Attilios house watching Italy vs Brazil. I enjoyed watching Italy get destroyed and gave that night a 9/10.

On Monday...Nina came over and gave me a pet panda that she made using her excellent and well knowned craft skills. It is the best panda and he sits quietly with the other three pandas in my room discussing life and reflecting on the crazy adventures they have when I'm not around.

Tuesday...nothing happened.

On Wednesday it was the crazy blaq mans birthday...Dazron! This time we decided to go to the Leedy a lot earlier then last week and all got in and had a crazy time. Dazron took his shirt off, Attilio slapped everyone in the face at least once, Sean threw up outside and went home, Luke Walsh abused everyone and Daniel took 248 photos. Meanwhile Mason hovered around the club with his mysterious eyes attracting women from every corner of the world.

Well thats my blog done for today! Tomorrow night we are going to Shape in the city. Will it be good? I don't know

Steve

Quicken the Heart

2009-06-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

Today my blog title comes from Maximo Parks new album, which I bought last week and have listened to several times and jived too. It is the best.

Anyway, I will probably not write very much because my ears randomly became blocked while at work today and now I cannot concentrate on anything and quite ironically not even listen to Quicken the Heart any longer :(

So last Friday I went to the movies with Ninatron to watch 'I Love You Man". It was funny. Probably one of the best movies I had seen this year. I also learned that Nina's new hobbie for the holidays is arts and craft and she has promised to create me a Panda. I shall be fuming if she does not deliver with this gift!

On Saturday night we went for an adventure to Metros Freo which was the best night full of forgotten memories and moments that escaped us come Sunday morning. So many people kept appearing randomly throughout the whole night. Dennis, Marco, Andy, Paulina, Maria, Nicole, Ben, Dan, Liz, Paul, James, Luca, David Price and finally Mason!!! were all there.

On Sunday we got pwned in soccer by a team of crazy Irish people and then due to having no car to get home we watched the first team get pwned as well. At 6:30 I met Attilio and Liz for some Bubble Tea before heading to Garden City to watch The Hangover which quickly replaced I Love You Man as the best movie I have seen this year. If you have not seen it yet, I suggest going to watch it right now.

After the movies we randomly saw Francesco and his friends who were heading back to Attilios to watch Gran Turino. So yeah, we watched that as well, it was another good movie.

Anyway, in short, this weekend was the weekend of three good movies, a pwnage and an adventure to Metros.

Red Eye

2009-06-09T22:15:00.002+08:00

I haven't written a blog for a few days so I thought I would make a few notes on what has happened this week, which in fairness is not a lot.

Last Friday night Attilio and I travelled to Northbridge to have another crazy Korean BBQ with Simon Petale, K Dawg and a random friend who they never bothered introducing us with.

On Saturday night Attilio tried to organise for everyone to go to a strange, possibly life threatening bar near Curtain Uni to watch his "friend" play in a band. Luckily everybody cbf'd so we just ended up watching 'End of the Line' which could possibly be the best movie to watch and laugh at due to its poor storyline, bad acting, comical action and far-fetched violence. Mason Roberts gave the movie an 8/10.

Sunday was a pretty dull day. We won 3-0 for only the second time this season against a poor Nedlands outfit. I opened the scoring with a fantastic strike and MC Cam sealed the win, and celebrated his new relationship status, with a clever header against the post to fool the goalkeeper before knocking in the rebound. He then walked around for the rest of the game complaining about his quad muscle hurting.

Sunday night...nothing happened. Monday also nothing and pretty much nothing today as well. Oh wait, as the title of this blog suggests I now have a strange red eye for an unexplained reason. I shall assume it will just go away in a few days.

This weekend you ask? Hmm, at the moment I'm off for another adventure with Ben on saturday night! and then on Sunday night off to watch 'I Love You Man' with Nina-Crap :D

- Steve

Also...MC Cam is telling me about a new game he is playing...I've even included a screenshot of the game in the blog so that we may look negatively at his choice of games.

Cam21 says:
It's an isometric game where you have a band of bounty hunters in the wild west and you use their skills to take out redneck sheriffs and deputies! But they don't look like sheriffs they're just dudes with hats and guns
look up pics of it
it's way cooler than it sounds

is it a good game? I don't know, I shall go google it now.

oh...and Flight of the Conchords, Season 2 returned last night on SBS at 9pm! It was the best :D

...

actually now that I have googled that game, it does look quite fun :o

- Steve

Reality Check

2009-06-03T14:01:00.002+08:00

The last few days have been quite adventurous with many events happening in a small space of time.

On Friday night K Dawg and I were meant to watch some JCVD with Attilio but he decided to go to work without telling us which meant we waited outside his house for 20minutes before deciding to go get bubble tea by ourselves. After bubble tea, K Dawg demanded that we go visit Attilio and get some free pizza.
So that was pretty much Friday night.

Saturday was quite a boring day with work during the day and then an adventure to Rubex Bar for Mary’s 21st with Hamish Glenister. There weren’t really many stories to tell from that night and we ended up getting home pretty early.

On Sunday we finally won our first soccer game and as I told Mason after the game, it wasn’t just a win…it was a pwnage. The final score ended up being 7-1 with Chris Colson living up to his remarkable name by scoring 4 goals. I managed to score a sneaky one from near the corner flag by accident as well! :D

After the game we watched the first team and made various taunts and insults directed at the surrounding people.

Finally on Sunday night we celebrated the Big V’s birthday at Korean BBQ. It was a monumental occasion with a surprisingly amount of people coming out. Attilio, Liz, The Boat, Mason, K Dawg, Scott, Luke Walsh, F Chise, Jarilyn and Ravin all came. Attilio’s idea was that instead of giving Big V a present we would all give each other gifts that we found laying around the house and no longer needed. I gave F Chise a recently updated newspaper, Liz a discount card at her local bikini store and was given a nice watch with a chain from Attilio.

Afterwards we all set out for some Knock and Run adventures. It started off well with a successful knock and run of the first house before Mason got hyperactive and ran off ringing the bell of the next house without warning. Using our previous K & R experience we knew we had to keep running but Jarilyn was unaware and ended up getting caught by a crazy man with a rake. Eventually after a quick debate we decided that we had to go rescue her and after a quick argument with the rake man we were soon back on track with our knock and running. After two solid hours of that in which Big V fell over and ripped his jeans and Luke Walsh threw his beanie at a random house to be lost forever, we decided it was time to head back to Attilio’s. We then all sat down and rested whilst watching the Chinese version of ‘The Eye’.

Last night I went to the movies with Nina to watch ‘I Love you Man’ but to our dismay we found out it wasn’t even out yet! We eventually decided on watching Angels and Demons, which was a lot better then I thought it was after hearing that Seano left halfway through in anger. After watching Tom Hanks doing a few laps of the pool at the start of the movie we also decided that we should start taking up swimming to get ourselves back to a solid fitness level. There will be more on our swimming progress later though.

God Save the K Dawg!

2009-05-30T20:05:00.001+08:00

We all know K Dawg as that crazy guy who lives down the road from us but does anyone really know the real K Dawg? I don’t think so and quite frankly, we don’t want too. I can see it being nothing but depressing.

He does have a lot of crazy stories though so if your ever in need of a good laugh, give him a ring and ask him out for some Bubble Tea at Utopia. I can guarantee that for the next few hours you will be shocked, amazed, angry and amused all at the same time!
His next plan is to find a Japanese girl in Bali and try and get a free holiday to Japan from her by pretending he is a really nice guy who can look after her. Ahhh K Dawg, what will he do next?

So anyway, the reason for this blog is to discuss many issues I have been reflecting on today at work with Cheran.

Issue #1: What is up with that Cadburys Chocolate Commercial from a few years back? The one that sings happily “Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was Cadbury…” My issue with this advert is the ending when they claim that if a shark came up and tried to bite you, you could simply say, “I’m made out of chocolate, I’ll invite you”. That makes no sense! It doesn’t matter if you’re made out of chocolate or human flesh, he is still going to eat you and you are going to die. Is the commercial aimed sharks perhaps?

Issue #1.5: I only remembered this issue that Sean bought up, as I was about to post this blog entry. If anyone remembers that Pizza Hut commercial where everyone is at a fancy restaurant eating pasta and when they finish the chef comes up and goes “Guys, I have a confession to make, I didn’t cook this food…Pizza Hut did” then everybody applauds them. Are me and Seano the only people that would be furious for being cheated out of a good quality meal because Pizza Hut wanted to prove a point?

Issue #2: I gave some change to a guy collecting for children’s cancer today. I was watching people walk past him annoyed that he was even saying hello to them during my lunch break. All he is doing is collecting for a worthy cause, you don’t have to give him any money if you don’t want too but you also don’t need to angrily stare at him for say hello.

Well that’s the only two issues I can think of at the moment. Tonight I shall be going to the Rubex Bar with Hamish for Mary’s (Dennis’s Girlfriend) 21st and then hopefully the Capitol.

Tomorrow I have a soccer game against some hard team that will probably pwn us again. At nighttime we are all going to Korean BBQ to celebrate Big V’s birthday even though Big V isn’t invited for being a social retard.

God Save the K Dawg!

Come Pick My Roses

2009-05-27T19:41:00.002+08:00

Today I have decided to write about comical songs of the past, present and future. The inspiration for this blog comes from learning that Aqua had released a new song “Back to the 80’s”. If you are interested in raving to it, you can find it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gz8loLIYc2Q

Another song that caught my attention as I browsed through various YouTube videos was ‘Coco Jumbo’ by Mr President. After listening to it many times in a state of incredible exultation I begun to question the meaning of Coco Jumbo. In the song the man sings:

“I pull you in close, you whisper coco, I hold you in my arms and you say jumbo!”

What is that meant to mean?! Imagine this happening to you in a club it would be well confusing. After some vigorous research with Seano on the meaning of Coco Jumbo the best we could come up with was “a river in southern Honduras and northern Nicaragua”.

So what other songs have I come across? I think all the 90’s dance songs need a mention, not being comical but for reminding us of the days when mainstream music wasn’t just pathetic songs sang by Pink, TV Rock and Mika. A few that I care to mention include Culture Beat – Mr Vain, Real McCoy – Another Night, Haddaway – What is Love, No Mercy – Where do you go and any songs by Sash, Darude and N-Trance.

Welcome To The Other Side Of Safe

2009-05-27T12:50:00.000+08:00

Welcome To The Other Side Of Safe

A crazy title to my first official blog (Microsoft Word appears to think I have spelt blog wrong) entry, but I think one that sums up the week well…the week of Jean Claude van Damme.

It all started last week when a crazy (yes crazy!) adventure to Bubble Tea with Attilio, Big V, Seano and K Dawg led to a stopover at our local CIVIC video store. We rummaged for several minutes in the action section when a glimmer of sparkling red font caught our eye.

“What is that?” queried Seano, as we eyed the DVD case cautiously. Attilio reached out to find out the name of the movie and to our joy, we found out it was “DEATH WARRANT” starring Jean Claude van Damme. Naturally we had to rent it, and as we sat in the car driving home we could not contain our excitement as we read that van Damme must spin kick his way of prison.

Anyway, so that was a good movie, I gave it an explosive 9/10 in my post-movie review whilst Attilio gave it 5 stars of awesomeness. Seano pretended he did not like it but we all knew he did.

Several days later as we sat around Attilio’s house discussing our favourite parts of DEATH WARRANT we decided that we had to watch more JCVD. We hurried to CIVIC and rented out six! Six more movies! Universal Soldier, The Order, Cyborg, Maximum Risk, Bloodsport and another one that I can no longer remember. We only managed to watch three of the movies but our respect for JCVD grew even more.

So what else happened this week? Not much really. We all threw a few insults at the Big V for being Russian and we pwn’d some newbs in Team Fortress 2.

On Saturday night I went on a crazy adventure to Ruby Room and the Casino with various people from work (Daniel Moore, Ben etc…). It was a good night and we have vowed to go on many more adventures in the upcoming months.

So that’s all I can be bothered writing at the moment, maybe I will add more to this entry later on? Actually I would probably just make another blog entry.

- Steve